Monday, July 2, 2007

My mistake and yours!


This is an excerpt of a short story i like...


She sat in the corner of the class room. Nobody paid any attention to her... she seemed a bit shy, and unsure of those around her, and who could blame her. She just didn't fit in. Reminds me of who i used to be, and longed to be. I had to help. After all, I knew what being like that was like.

So everyday after that first one, I'd go over just to say hello. Slowly, she began to crawl out of her shell, ever so reluctantly. But whatever, that was good enough for me. I felt like i had to bring her into the times. Our times.

Soon, all my male friends were talking about her. she was smart and funny. her elusiveness left them longing to understand her inner mechanics. Forgive the pun. I really didn't get it. As far as i was concerned, people should just stick to what they know.

I leaned in and nodded in Dante's direction. Her eyes widened in shock and a sort of restrained curiosity. "What can a guy like that possibly want with a girl like me?", she seemed to say with her questioning gaze. I smiled encouragingly.
"It's alright. he's a boy, you're a girl. I guess he just wants to talk." I had said. Yeah right! 'Talk'.

She manages a smile in his direction. So he slithers across the dance floor and smoothly commands her hands unto his shoulders as his rests in the small of her back. I lean back on my bar stool, elbows on the counter. The corners of my mouth turn upward, as I absorb the scene. They move as one to the beats of the DJ. I still don't get why they call them DJ's anymore. None of them sport discs these days. They just poke knowing fingers at buttons and knobs. That art has long been lost.

I nod, and in my satisfaction, there's an involuntary squint in my eye. They've left the room. I twist around and take a long slow sip from my shot glass. observing the morphed image of the bar tender through it's thickened bottom. I ignore his look of distaste in my direction. He doesn't understand me.

I leave, walking the dark path home. There's a slight but steady drizzle. I have feelings too. Truth be told, Shannon was me... before i was foolish enough to sleep my life away with the first guy who said I was cute. And every one of them there after who would made me feel 'special'.

How I was upset with her. How is she able to keep herself so well? What does she have that i didn't back then. I went to church too, so that couldn't be what it was. Irritated, I shake myself out of the daze. Whatever it was, would soon be gone. We'd all be the same by morning, maybe even earlier. No guy seemed able to resist her innocence.

Rounding the corner to the house, I see that she's sitting on my front step. I brace myself and adopt a less pathetic strut. For heaven sake- in my mind, heaven went along with other 'myths' like Santa, unicorns and leprechauns- she couldn't see me like this. As I approach, her head lifts, her swollen eyes and wet cheeks tell me all i needed to know.

My trek to the front porch was brisk, and in finding my keys, I had handed her some Kleenex. "Baby, it's alright. you're a woman now." The door shuts behind me, and in the shower, I know that there's nothing special about her anymore.
There, we were the same. I guess my mistake wasn't so foolish after all.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The ALPHA!

...I'm not a prolific blogger.. in fact i can't really say that my life is exciting enough to be immortalized through blogs... but sharing is nice.. and so i will share. My typing skills suck, and my word-smithing skills are not the best either, but i do recognize good writing when i see it... whether i pened it or not...

I watched this movie called In her Shoes, starring Cameron Diaz, and i loved it! I mean... its not the typical action movie.. or mystery solving thrills that i like.. But i loved it!! One of the reasons is because of some of the most powerful use of poetry that i have ever experienced in a movie before! Diaz read this poem in the end... had nothing to do with God at all... but i was moved, and "received instruction".. To me, this poem is about GOD, all about HIM.


I carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)